In our last pregnancy centering group session, we were gathered in a circle as everyone talked about the pregnancy hormones that lead us to cry over different things we may not have cried over or been so emotional about before being pregnant. Different ladies talked about things that had made them cry recently such as certain commercials on TV or baby animals, etc. I could relate to none of these things, and we went home. A few days later I found myself at the Children's Museum with my 2 kiddos as we met up with some other friends of ours that afternoon. There was a particular little girl about age 2 who had a very snotty nose and some type of food, crayon or marker on her face. And that was the moment when I just wanted to cry as my pregnancy mothering hormones kicked in. I wanted to just scoop her up, give her hugs and kisses, snotty nose and grime and all! Normally, my first instinct as a mother is to get a rag and wipe that little child's face, but I really didn't think of that once this time. I just enjoyed being around such a precious little angel and now I can't wait to have another little baby girl of my own again, messes and all. All I have to do is think of that sweet little face and I want to cry all over again. I am so happy that I am getting another little girl.
The second time my pregnancy hormones kicked in this week happened as I was getting the baby's room ready and unpacking the boxes of girl clothes that used to be Annalise's when she was a baby. I simply turned to look at the small plastic play kitchen in the corner of the room and I got the image in my mind of a nine-month old beginning to pull up, toddle around and explore. I could see cute little chubby legs, a diaper, and arms slowly and carefully reaching out to touch everything within grasp of those chubby little hands. And then I saw a big plop as the baby lost her balance, landing on her cushy, diaper bottom. Next is a wrinkled face and a big "waaaah" with arms outstretched, waiting for someone to hug and comfort. It was at that moment I felt like crying myself as I thought of how relieving it is to comfort a crying baby. Later I thought of how God as Father gives his children the freedom to explore their surroundings, and when they lose balance the first few times and plop on their butts He is there to pick them up and comfort them. He reassures his children, but then gently encourages to get back up and keep exploring, building their confidence so that they are less afraid next time. How silly of us to get mad at God and think He is somehow responsible when we fall on our butts. Rather than doing it all for us, He simply gives the freedom to fall and plop that so we learn how to walk and succeed at it.